Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
