What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
