Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
