Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
ok first of all what the fuck
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
