break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
