just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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