I will die if light touches me.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
i want to swaddle you in tequila
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
