u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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