If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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