i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
