1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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