The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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