That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
