What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
All I want is dick and wine.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
