Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
