You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
