just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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