Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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