Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I want a musical about memes.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
