matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
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