dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
