if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
