at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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