I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
i would punch a child for taco bell
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
