we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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