she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
