Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
