I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
