Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
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