Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
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