Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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