Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
