OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
