why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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