Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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