I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
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