I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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