Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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