You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
