at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
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