My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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