Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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