Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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