i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
