i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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