then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Another day, another engagement, another cat
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Randomize
