Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I'm sobbing to NWA
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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