I like my sex mixed with concussions.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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