I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
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