Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
We just shotgunned beers for America
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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