So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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